A total change of heart

by
May 20th, 2011

The last ten-plus years have constituted a mental struggle leading at last to my departure from Christian Science.  I was a fourth-generation Scientist, class taught, served as reader (1st & 2nd), board member, Sunday School teacher and superintendent. Presently, I’m not finding the words to express my CS experience very well.  Everything has just started to fall into place where I can even understand my story.

Editor: A new friend who lives in the East found encouragement in our site while she and her husband were making their way from Christian Science to the Cross. She wrote this under a pen name out of respect for the feelings of an elderly parent who still follows Science.

I can share that at about 9 years old, I was allowed to attend summer bible school at a Methodist church with neighbors.  It’s was there that I learned about a different Jesus.  At the end of the week, we were invited to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior.  I knew my mother would not approve as this was totally out of line with our religion.  However, I felt a deep opening in my heart and yearning for this Jesus.

Did I walk to the altar or raise my hand?  This I cannot remember but I did open my heart.  Later, I shared a little with Mom about what they taught and she gave the CS definitions for all of it.  The incident seemed to be forgotten on my part but now I know it was not forgotten for Jesus – He is faithful.

About the year 2000, I began to notice at my local branch church something which I had once ignored but could no longer support.  We had a very strict application requiring a total yes answer to the question “if you relied on CS for healing” for new members — we wanted a yes even if it was a lie.  Meanwhile, we as members were seeing eye doctors, dentist, and others in secrecy.

I began to feel out of alignment with the church and needed more honesty.  The outer appearance seemed more important than the inner.  My idea was to admit we were all doing our best to rely on CS and remove this requirement from the membership application.  This was aggressively opposed and refused.

So, in obedience to where God was leading me, I pulled out of serving, pulled out of attending and eventually pulled out my membership.  Not out of anger but because of a need to be honest and because I felt strongly God’s call to take that step.  It was a huge step myself and family.  My husband was actually relieved because although tolerant of CS, he had always felt it did not effectively confront evil.

It took almost ten years to find a church with my husband.  We were like the Israelites searching within our community.  We were even baptized at one point but didn’t really make headway until I accepted God’s call to go back to a church which had a very strong biblical message and an active healing & prayer ministry.

I had left twice before because what they said and did seemed almost shocking to my stoic sensibilities but this third time (18 months ago) I stayed.  I accepted God’s will and stopped judging them based on my CS education.  Everything changed.  My husband and I both were saved — born again, accepted the Trinity, confessed and repented — it was a total change of heart and direction.

Even with all this going on, it was still a shock when I  finally realized CS was and is a false religion.  God gently presented me with so evidence much that I couldn’t deny it any longer.  (I used to think I could share CS with them as MBE talked about).  I’ve since pulled out of The Mother Church and purged my home of CS material.

The last ten-plus years have constituted a mental struggle leading at last to my departure from Christian Science.  I was a fourth-generation Scientist, class taught, served as reader (1st & 2nd), board member, Sunday School teacher and superintendent. Presently, I’m not finding the words to express my CS experience very well.  Everything has just started to fall into place where I can even understand my story.

Editor: A new friend who lives in the East found encouragement in our site while she and her husband were making their way from Christian Science to the Cross.  She wrote this under a pen name out of respect for the feelings of an elderly parent who still follows Science.
I can share that at about 9 years old, I was allowed to attend summer bible school at a Methodist church with neighbors.  It’s was there that I learned about a different Jesus.  At the end of the week, we were invited to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior.  I knew my mother would not approve as this was totally out of line with our religion.  However, I felt a deep opening in my heart and yearning for this Jesus.
Did I walk to the altar or raise my hand?  This I cannot remember but I did open my heart.  Later, I shared a little with Mom about what they taught and she gave the CS definitions for all of it.  The incident seemed to be forgotten on my part but now I know it was not forgotten for Jesus – He is faithful.
About the year 2000, I began to notice at my local branch church something which I had once ignored but could no longer support.  We had a very strict application requiring a total yes answer to the question “if you relied on CS for healing” for new members — we wanted a yes even if it was a lie.  Meanwhile, we as members were seeing eye doctors, dentist, and others in secrecy.
I began to feel out of alignment with the church and needed more honesty.  The outer appearance seemed more important than the inner.  My idea was to admit we were all doing our best to rely on CS and remove this requirement from the membership application.  This was aggressively opposed and refused.
So, in obedience to where God was leading me, I pulled out of serving, pulled out of attending and eventually pulled out my membership.  Not out of anger but because of a need to be honest and because I felt strongly God’s call to take that step.  It was a huge step myself and family.  My husband was actually relieved because although tolerant of CS, he had always felt it did not effectively confront evil.
It took almost ten years to find a church with my husband.  We were like the Israelites searching within our community.  We were even baptized at one point but didn’t really make headway until I accepted God’s call to go back to a church which had a very strong biblical message and an active healing & prayer ministry.
I had left twice before because what they said and did seemed almost shocking to my stoic sensibilities but this third time (18 months ago) I stayed.  I accepted God’s will and stopped judging them based on my CS education.  Everything changed.  My husband and I both were saved – born again, accepted the Trinity, confessed and repented — it was a total change of heart and direction.
Even with all this going on, it was still a shock when I  finally realized CS was and is a false religion.  God gently presented me with so evidence much that I couldn’t deny it any longer.  (I used to think I could share CS with them as MBE talked about).  I’ve since pulled out of The Mother Church and purged my home of CS material.

The author can be reached at gracewhite77@aol.com

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